When Nightmares Don't End
by EsmeAmelia
Summary: Ben Solo's nightmares worry his parents, but what can they do?


AN: Does anyone REALLY think I own Star Wars? Well, this was written for a contest over at DeviantArt. The contest's theme is "The childhood of Kylo Ren," so here's my entry.

EDIT: The story WON first place! OMG!

"When Nightmares Don't End"

By EsmeAmelia

"Daddy? Daddy? Daddy, please wake up!"

With a grunt, Han slowly opened his eyes to his six-year-old son silhouetted against the ghostly city lights. "Ben?" he said through a yawn. "What's goin' on?"

"Daddy, I had a bad dream," Ben sobbed.

Han reached up and turned on the bedside lamp, revealing that his son's face was red and tear-stained and he was clutching his toy Ewok as if it would protect him. "What kind of bad dream?" he asked in the gentle voice he'd learned to use when his son had nightmares.

Ben gulped several times. "I . . . I . . ." A sob broke his voice. "I-I . . ." He sniffled, fiercely wiping his nose with his pajama sleeve.

"Come on, son," Han coaxed, wrapping his arms around his son and easing him up into the bed. "You can sleep here. Looks like you're mom's not home yet, so you can have her spot for now."

Ben rolled over to his mother's side of the bed, sinking his head into her big pillow and still squeezing his toy Ewok against his chest. "H-How come Mommy's not home?"

Han sighed, rubbing his son's back. "Well, Mommy has a real busy job and sometimes she comes home late." _Too often,_ he thought, and Ben always seemed to have nightmares when she worked late.

"But _why?_ " Ben pressed. "Why does she always have to work?"

Han sighed again. "Because Mommy's a very important person. She's gotta take care of a _lot_ of people."

"But what about _me?"_

Han gently pushed a lock of hair behind his son's ear. "Tell ya what, why don't we call her? That might make you feel better."

After sniffling again, Ben gave a small nod, though he was still shaking.

Han smiled down at his son as he grabbed the comm on the nightstand and hastily punched in his wife's comm frequency, but after several beeps a recorded hologram of Leia in her senate finery appeared.

"You've reached the office of Senator Leia Organa," the hologram said. "I'm not available right now, but if you leave a message, someone will get back to you."

"You've gotta be kidding me," Han muttered, though he still handed the comm to Ben. "Here son, you can leave Mommy a message."

Ben's voice trembled again as he spoke. "M-Mommy, I don't want you to go to work anymore, I want you to _quit!"_ Without saying another word, he handed the comm back to his father and once more dissolved into sobs, curling up around his Ewok.

"Sweetheart, sweetheart . . ." Han said in a feeble voice as he wrapped his arm around Ben, pressing him against his chest. "C'mon, why don't you tell me about your dream? Or you don't have to if you don't want to."

Ben just sobbed into his father's pajama top for several moments before he could finally speak again. "D-Daddy . . . I'm scared . . ."

"I know, son. Bad dreams are scary, but they're not real . . ."

"Something _wants_ me!"

Han's stomach suddenly tightened. "What . . . what do you mean something wants you?"

The child just kept sobbing into his father's chest. "S-s-something . . . something _scary_ wants me!"

Out of instinct, Han tightened his embrace around his son as if shielding him, softly patting his back. "It's all right . . ." he murmured, hoping he sounded convincing, ". . . it's all right, son . . . I'm here . . ."

"N-no . . ." Ben's voice shook with every word, "it's . . . n-n-n . . . not okay . . ."

"Ben, listen to me," Han said in a firm voice, still patting his son's back. " _Nothin's_ gonna get you. Mommy and I are here to protect you."

By now the child's sobs were so intense that his breaths came out in short spasms. "N-n-n-no . . . y-y-you . . . c-c-can't . . ."

Han kissed his son's sweat-drenched head several times, trying not to let his mind wander to what might want Ben. Children had nightmares all the time . . . but was having them _this_ often normal?

And of course, his son was Force-sensitive . . .

He tried unsuccessfully to keep his breath steady, tried not to think of all Luke had told him about the dark side and how it had taken Anakin as its victim. No . . . no . . . he was overreacting.

Besides, Vader was no victim, no matter what Luke kept insisting. He had turned to the dark side out of his own free will.

Right?

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't wanna be weak."

Han pulled back slightly from the hug, running his thumb over his son's glistening eyes. "Listen Ben, you're _not_ weak. _Everyone_ has nightmares."

Ben blinked rapidly, making more tears flow out. "B-b-but I can't make them _go away!"_

Han swallowed, pressing his son's head against his chest once more. How many six-year-olds worried about being _weak?_ "Hon . . . the nightmares _will_ go away . . . they _will . . ."_

"I want them to go away NOW!"

With that sudden shout, the comm on the nightstand shook and scooted to the floor, causing Han to jump slightly. "Ben," he said in a shaky voice, "you know not to lash out with the Force."

Ben's teary eyes widened. "I didn't mean to, honest!"

Han sighed, patting the back of his son's head. "I know you didn't . . ." He glanced down at the comm on the floor – this wasn't the first time Ben had Force-pushed something in a moment of intense emotion. In fact, this was a rather regular occurrence.

"Ben," Han finally said, "why don't you see if you can sleep now? Think of nice things and it might help your dreams."

"Like wh-what?"

"Well . . . how about the beach? You could imagine that we're all on vacation together. Or maybe your birthday? Or Fete?"

Ben sniffled as if he were trying to pull everything back into his nose. "C-can you sing?"

Han swallowed. "Son, you know I ain't good at singin' . . ."

"I don't care," Ben interrupted. "I want a song."

"All right," said Han. "Just thought I'd warn you." He gave his son a tiny grin in an attempt to lighten the mood, but Ben either didn't notice it or didn't care.

He slowly, gently lay back down, tucking Ben in next to him and kissing his forehead.

"Don't turn out the light!" Ben wailed even though his father had made no motion to do so.

"All right," Han repeated.

"P-please sing."

Han took a deep breath, his stomach twisting even though only Ben was present. "Let your dreams protect you," he sang softly, tripping over some of the notes of Leia's favorite Alderaanian lullaby, "and guide you through the night, let your dreams protect you, your fantasies take flight . . ."

He sang through all five verses, but Ben's eyes only started drooping once the song started over. Han kept singing, five verses again, then again, only stopping when his throat started drying out.

By now Ben was asleep and Han's arm was tingling, but he didn't dare move it. Disturbing the child might send him back into his nightmares. "It's okay, Ben," he whispered, "I'm here, it's okay . . ."

But _was_ it okay?

. . .

Leia returned home finding the bedroom door open and the light shining through it. Her husband's familiar snores brought a smile to her face as she stepped out of her uncomfortable high-heel shoes and headed for their room – and the smile only stretched wider when she saw Han and Ben snuggled together in the bed, sleeping away as if all their troubles had vanished.

But then she saw the comm on the floor.

Her breath shortened slightly as she picked up the comm, remembering her son's message. No one had answered when she attempted to return the call.

Again she looked down at her husband and son, looking so blissfully lost in whatever dreams they might be having. She leaned over, kissing each one on the cheek, hoping to sense that they were feeling the bliss they appeared to be in, but once her lips touched Ben's cheek, she got a fleeting sense of fear. Paralyzing fear, as if her son were trapped somewhere with no way out.

Somewhere his parents couldn't reach . . .

In an instant her hand was on her son's shoulder, gently, gently shaking him. "Ben?" she whispered. "Ben, are you all right?"

The child woke up with a tiny, desperate shriek, waking his father up as well.

"Ben, Ben," said Leia, scooping her boy up into her arms, letting him sob onto her shoulder. "Ben, it's okay, you're awake, you're safe . . ."

"N-N-No . . ." Ben cried as Han stood up and embraced him from the other side.

Han gave his wife a solemn look, nodding slowly at her when she returned his gaze.

"Ben," she whispered, kissing his head, "it _is_ all right . . ."

"NO!" Ben screamed. "It's not okay, IT'S NOT OKAY!"

This time it was the lamp that tipped over, shrouding the family in darkness.

Neither parent spoke or picked up the lamp. The just sat on the bed, still embracing their son, letting him cry between them for several minutes.

"I want the dreams to GO AWAY!" Ben yelled once he was able to form sentences again.

Han ran his hand behind his son's ear. "They _will_ go away," he said in a feeble voice.

"Yes, honey," said Leia, "they will."

Ben rubbed his nose against his father's pajama sleeve. "I . . . I don't wanna hurt you . . ."

" _Hurt_ us?" Han exclaimed. "C'mon son, you're not hurting us. We're happy to get up when you need us."

"I don't wanna hurt you . . ." Ben repeated as if he hadn't heard his father. "I don't wanna hurt you . . . I don't wanna hurt you . . ."

. . .

It was at least half an hour before Ben settled back down to sleep and Leia joined her husband and son in bed, having set the lamp back up and changed into her nightshirt.

"Leia?" Han asked as soon as Leia was settled in next to Ben.

"Yeah?" answered Leia, running her fingers through their son's hair.

"Remember how he used to cry durin' the night for food or diaper changes? The normal sorta stuff?"

Leia swallowed. "Well . . . nightmares are normal too . . ."

"Like _this?"_ Han exclaimed. "I don't think so."

Ben twitched in his sleep, his fingers curling around his father's as if Han were a lifeline that would keep him from falling.

"No," Leia finally admitted. " _This_ is _not_ normal."

Han's eyes were wide in the dim light, staring desperately at his wife as if she had the answers. "It'll pass, right? I mean, bein' Force-sensitive doesn't mean he'll _always_ have these nightmares, right?"

How Leia wanted to say yes, how she wanted to reassure her husband that things would be all right for their son.

But she couldn't.

As she kept stroking the little boy's hair, she sensed the nightmares would only get worse.

THE END


End file.
